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Having a balanced, healthy self-image starts with self-love and you can't love yourself well when you're always focusing on the negative. I have been in and out of therapy since 2005, not because I am crazy, but to keep me from becoming crazy! I'm joking, but in all seriousness, therapy should be a mandatory requirement to be a US citizen. If you have an open mind and genuinely want to better yourself, therapy can work absolute wonders. Therapy often aims to increase self-awareness and teach how to manage reactions in triggering situations. While this is a difficult, ongoing task, it is essential to acknowledge when we have succeeded. Every time we progress and act in a manner that reflects the effort we have put into self-improvement, it deserves recognition and reward. We often spend too much time obsessing over our mistakes and the act of trying to improve instead of taking the time to celebrate our wins. It is important to reward ourselves for a job well done, especially when it is something we normally struggle with. By rewarding your achievements, you also become more aware of what you did differently in that moment or situation and can take note of it. This way, you can focus on your positive changes, good behavior, and actions, and you'll have a clear idea of what worked and what will benefit you in the future.
This type of reward isn't just applicable to improved behaviors and therapy but to all aspects of our lives. Personally, and I'm sure many others can relate, I find birthdays and New Year's quite challenging because they serve as reminders, particularly as one gets older, of how far they are from where they envisioned themselves at that point in their lives. During my time in Nashville, I often felt overwhelmed and struggled with feelings of failure. Every day in the music industry is a struggle to maintain your current job and strive towards finding the next, better opportunity. The constant pressure and stress can be overwhelming and exhausting. I often found myself feeling disappointed and discouraged, wondering why I hadn't made more progress despite being in the industry for a short amount of time. To combat this overwhelming feeling of failure, I started making a list of all of my accomplishments from my time. After the first time I sat down and completed the list, I felt so much better! I was able to focus on all of the amazing things I had accomplished during my time there. By changing my focus to the positive, I was able to build myself back up, which is very important in the music industry because no one else is going to do it for you. I began implementing this practice of making a list of accomplishments every time this feeling came creeping in. I have been doing this for a few years now and have encouraged many of my friends and family to do the same. It is an effortless way to shift your mindset and focus to the positive aspects of your life. This helps you change your negative self-talk into positive self-talk and boosts your confidence.
I was speaking to a friend the other day who has been attending therapy for two years now. She was telling me how proud she was of herself for handling a tense situation in a way that she normally wouldn't have been able to. She explained that, in the past, she would have blown up and been snappy with the person who was irritating her. But this time, she practiced deep breathing and responded in a polite way while still maintaining her boundaries. When my friend shared this story with me, I asked if she uses a daily planner. I recommended that she mark her progress with a sticker or drawing on the day she successfully controlled her emotions. This is a huge accomplishment for her and it should be rewarded just as a promotion or successful job interview would be.
I highly recommend carrying a planner every year because it is an excellent way to document your accomplishments and significant moments. This way, when you feel down during New Year or Birthday blues season, you can take out your calendar and reflect on all your achievements and big moments, no matter how small they might seem. You can add them to your list or realize that you have achieved more than you thought.
So today, I encourage you to start your list or get your calendar and a pack of stickers and start celebrating your wins! Be diligent with this practice, and in a year, you will be able to look back and feel an immense sense of pride, or you will be able to identify areas you need to focus on more easily.
Either way, it's a great tool to aid in self-awareness. I have created a link (https://walmrt.us/49HUkSG) for some fun stickers and great calendars/planners if you need products to get started! Enjoy, and make rewarding yourself a priority. Practice your Self-Care with Stickers today!
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